Gears Of War: Crossroads
by gearsgirl79
Summary: After escaping the hive the survivors must choose which side and path they wish to follow ***I am starting most of this from scratch as I took this in the wrong direction so some of this is a repeat of my original draft but will hopefully make more sense***
1. Chapter 1

It was a nightmare Marcus had not had before. He still had nightmares, terrorising his sleep. Waking him up in a cold sweat, always alone and terrified. His heart ready to explode. He slept alone by choice, no one to hurt but himself. He didn't want James to be afraid of him as a child or share his fears. He didn't want to hurt Anya.

This was not a nightmare or a flash back he was familiar with. _'Let this be a horrible nightmare. Let me wake up'_

He was in a clearing, surrounded by a meadow of flowers. They were wilted and scorched and a plume of smoke hung in the air. Bodies of faceless soldiers lay all around. Some screamed out for help but there was a body he was drawn to.

" _James, no, no"_ The words could barley leave his mouth. The ground coated red around his sons body with heavy blood loss.

James opened his eyes, he was in his dads arms. He couldn't breathe. He tried to speak. Footsteps were running towards them.

" _Don't try to talk son, just hang on. I'll get you out of here"_

James closed his eyes and raised a hand to his heart, tapping it the way his mum would. A signal that Marcus knew was a way of saying he loved him.

" _Stay with me James"_

There was a loud bang as a mortar fell near by. Marcus covered James from the flying debris. He saw what they had done to his son. He was dying. Nothing he could do. He held him tighter now begging that he'd hang on. Just long enough for a medic to get here. The footsteps stopped and stood watching them.

Marcus shook his head and put his hand on a wound that was bleeding heavily near his heart, seeping through the armour. _"I failed the others, but please, not you, I promised your mother"_

' _Let me wake up please. I don't, can't see this'_

James grasped his Dads hand, his eyes bloodshot and pupils dilated. He tried to talk again but his throat was too swollen, pieces of burning hot shrapnel had pieced his armour and torn through his skin. His face had been lacerated, visible parts of his body were covered with cuts, his skin torn and his leg had both been broken, the bone piercing through the skin. The traumatic injuries mounted in front of his eyes with every glance. He looked back at his face. The left eye had now swollen shut. His lips were turning blue and his breathing rapid but shallow.

" _Sshh don't try to talk"_

A gurgle ' _Fuck! No! Make it stop, let me wake'_

He was in shock, too much blood loss. But Marcus was too paralyzed by fear. His son was dying.

" _WHERE IS THAT FUCKING MEDIC?"_ he screamed, _"Its okay James. Your not alone"_

James had something he wanted to say _"I'm sorry"_ he managed, _"I fucked up right? I failed"_

His voice was raspy and his breathing now wheezy.

' _No,no'_

" _You didn't fuck up. God James, not like this. You have to know that through all the fights, through all our trials I have never stopped loving you. You mean so much to me. Your my kid. We have so much to make right"_

He squeezed James' hand " _The day you were born was the happiest day of my life, you have no idea how many regrets I have and now I cant fix it. Forgive me James"_

He tried to compose himself, he'd never let James see him this vulnerable and scared.

" _WHERE IS THAT FUCKING MEDIC?!. James please"_

' _Fuck hiding it he knows. He knows your scared'_

There was nothing but a sea of red now. His eyes slowly closed. The grasp loosened.

" _Dad, its okay. Let me go. There is nothing to forgive. I love you"_ The words came out in a whisper. Tears ran through the blood stained face which Marcus gently wiped away.

" _Sshh son"_ he ran his hand through his locks. " _Your mum would be so proud of the man you've become. I love you"_

It went peaceful. He laid his son down and made him comfortable. He watched him take a final few breathes and then he had gone. Marcus was screaming over and over, the loss destroying him. He could feel his heart tearing in two. The anguish was there for all to see. This grief wasn't like losing Carlos, or Dom or even Anya. It drowned him – all the lost years fighting. Missing him grow up. ' _Why? I should have been there'_

" _NOOOO! YOU BASTARDS"_ he saw a drone approach and picked up James's lancer and fired until the clip was empty, _" . James, please"_

He fired up the chainsaw and tore through the dead drone. His screaming continued until his voice went hoarse.

He went back to his son and looked over his broken body. The image bore hard into his brain. He closed his eyes and collapsed wishing it was him that was dead. His whole body shook with uncontrollable sobs. The anguish to much to comprehend.

" _It should have been me"_

A voice came from behind laughing and taunting him, _"Do you feel that?, that's for everyone you killed you bitch"_

A gun pressed against his temple, _"Just do it. Just fucking do it"_ He snarled.

He closed his eyes, tears running down his cheeks. They'd achieved what they had wanted to. He had nothing left to give. No will to live or fight.

The trigger pulled and all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

It was over. His heart was pounding hard. He was soaked in sweat and his face was raw with tears. His nose had been bleeding. His head was pounding and the image of James haunted him. He moved in a swift bolt to the edge of the bed looking at the floor. He was going to be sick. Again.

Was it that nightmare making him want to throw up or the damage from that snatcher? He went to the bathroom and crumpled to the floor. A thick bile similar to what had been in his lungs when he was podded came up violently. The nausea passed after a few minutes. He'd brought up blood and cramps attacked every muscle. ' _Fuck'_

He washed his face and made sure he stopped his nose bleed. A glass of water rehydrated his sore dry throat, he must of been screaming in his sleep. The bile burning his oesophagus.

' _I hope I didn't wake then'_

He opened the window. The air was cool and fresh and there was a gentle breeze. The rain was heavy and left a fine mist in the air. He took a deep breathe, _'I need to make things right, before its too late'_

He knew he'd not been well since being in that snatcher. Baird has sourced some strong antibiotics but he still felt rotten.

' _Fucking nightmares'_

They had been at the cabin for two days now. It was a summer lodge Baird owned and now home to Del, James and Kait. It had been stocked with food and clothes and a fabricator. It housed five sleeping quarters and a kitchen and living area. And a bunker. In the centre was a large ornate fireplace for the cold nights rapidly drawing in.

He said he would stay a few days to ensure they settled and obeyed his wishes to all spend time recovering from the tragic events they'd faced. He would then leave for a few days.

Cole had arranged for Marcus to see a doctor even though he persisted in telling people he was fine. That the tablets Baird got needed a few days. Cole saw through the facade and told Marcus to drop the hero status. Marcus looked at his son, then Del who was like a brother to James, and then Kait...he felt guilty not knowing his son had found someone special.

" _There going to need you Marcus"_ Cole said _"This family needs its leader"_

Cole always had a way of putting family at the heart of it all.

He promised Kait he would detour by her village and see if they could recover any of the livestock or people who weren't there when they came under attack There was a set of stables nearby they could keep the animals in.

He also had a few things he wanted to see if he could recover from the Stroud estate. A journal that he could give to his son should he not make it. All his lies would be exposed but it was all to protect his son. James would see that and hopefully forgive him..

He knew that if they were in any danger they'd be safe at the cabin until back up came. He didn't want them to fight so soon, seeking revenge. Having no rest or escape, it had damaged him battling all the time. Mentally and physically. So many of the old veterans were traumatised and suicidal. COG hospitals and retirement homes were filled with 'old gears'. Past wars had destroyed peoples souls. Kids orphaned. He didn't want that for them. He didn't want that life for James.

He left his room and walked down the corridor. It was quiet, nothing stirred. He saw a shadow at the table. ' _James, your_ alive'

He had to stop himself from running to him and embracing him. The nightmare had upset him more than the flash backs had and the pain he felt in the dream felt real enough to hurt his heart even now.

James was in a world of his own and hadn't seen his dad enter the room.

Marcus joined him and sat at the table, he still could not shake the image of James dying. He had to make things right.

" _Hey dad, you couldn't sleep to huh?"_

He put on a fake smile _"I was sleeping but..."_ he stopped not wanting to go back there.

" _Bad nightmare?"_ James finished.

Marcus nodded then stood up and poured himself another glass of water before sitting back down.

" _I've heard you being sick dad. I know you've not been well since...You look different. Can you be honest and just tell me?"_

James reminded him of Anya so much. All her strong traits. Her passion and heart. Compassion. He spoke the truth and never held back his emotions. All his bad traits came from him. Stubborn, head strong.

" _I never said thank you, not properly for getting me out of there"_

" _Stop it Dad, I'm tired of the anything but the truth routine"._ He waited for his dad's usual sarcastic or dry response.

" _Yeah, your right. I'm not well"_ he spoke slowly trying to break the news gently, "S _omething's not right. I keeping vomiting, my muscles ache. My lungs feel heavy. But I'm still here because of you, Del and Kait. And these last few days I have realised how wrong I have been"_ He paused and took another sip of water, this was tough for him. He felt out of his comfort zone but he knew he had to make it right. _"I wish that I had not lost all these years and been in your life. Not missed so much"_

" _Dad, wow, I..."_ James was speechless, " _I have regrets too but its not to late right? We still have time?"_

" _I promise I am seeing a medic later today. Its where we're meeting Cole. Its probably nothing. Old man stuff"_ Marcus assured him.

No sarcasm, he'd actually opened up. But it made him scared now, the thought his dad might be really sick or dying. So much unresolved. James took a moment to think about what to say, _"I should never have got you involved"_

" _Don't blame yourself. On finding out they were back I would not have wasted a moment to find you"_


	3. Chapter 3

Marcus sat and looked at James and knew he was scared, he told himself to keep the honesty going. Not to leave things unsaid before it was too late. They were talking like father and son. They hadn't done this since Anya's death. The bind that had kept them together went when she did. But it felt right.

" _James, I never sat down and talked like this with your grandfather. He didn't have the time to listen. To explain. To have those father son chats"_ Marcus blushed slightly.

James sensed his dads embarrassment, " _Dad"_ he whispered, " _Both you and mum had the "chat" with me"_

It lightened the mood. James knew his dad was trying and resolved to try too, Marcus gave a slight laugh shaking his head, _"When it came to girlfriends he was more concerned I would get the wrong girl pregnant than talk about love and finding the one, someone who would make me happy regardless of who and where they came from"_

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a battered wallet and took out a photo and handed it to James. It was a picture of Anya and James. Sitting outside of the estate. All smiling and happy.

" _That is my favourite picture of you both"_ he paused _,_ letting the memory of that day come flooding back. " _You might not understand this until you become a parent yourself one day but your mum and I did a lot to protect you as a kid. We weren't always honest with you. My dad was guilty of lying to me and your grandmother with your mum"_

He paused, trying to find the words but scared to let his guard down too.

" _Your mum excelled at school and came to the attention of high ranking officers. They wanted her skills and knowledge knowing she would be an asset. They told your mum she was infertile so that she would be allowed to enrol. Her dreams were shifted from finding the one and having a kid to serving in the military "_

" _Dad, that's messed up"_ James was shocked.

" _We only found out the truth when she got morning slickness. Except it lasted all day and night. We thought the worst. But then as a last resort they did a scan and there you were. Your mum was three months pregnant, we were glad it had happened after the war and not during. She was heartbroken when they told her they'd lied. All she thought of was the fact she had been drinking, and helping clear up dead locust. Scared she had brought you harm. I was scared too but only because I didn't know if I could be a Dad, how to make sure you didn't end up like me"_

James was shocked, he'd never heard this story before. No wonder his Dad didn't trust the COG. And made more sense of the reasons his dad was unhappy he'd joined them too. He could see his Dad had struggled to bare so much and be this honest with him.

" _Your mum and I never kept anything from you as a child. You were inquisitive and asked question after question.. Your bed time stories were of battles won and lost. You were obsessed with learning as much as you could and you pushed the boundaries on everything. It drove my crazy. But when your mum passed both our lives changed and there were forces out there that threatened what we had. I tried to fight it but in doing so I destroyed our relationship and lost my kid. My biggest regret is failing you and letting you go "_

" _Dad its not destroyed. I just had to grow up after she died, fast...Wait. What forces?"_

Marcus sighed, " _Lets just start slow huh, one story at a time. I promise I will tell you more when I get back in two days"_

They weren't fighting and this closeness felt like it did when he was a kid. His dads near death experience clearly the driving factor behind bridges being built. An opportunity to not leave things unsaid.

" _You and Mum taught me all the important things Dad. You made a great team. Even if you don't realise it. She was the one who put a plaster on my knee"_ James smiled, " _But you taught me the important stuff. You taught me when to choose my battles. Which battles were worth fighting for. You taught me when to stand up and fight and when to walk away The stories you told me as a kid, they stayed with me always. The way you were devoted to mum taught me so much about respect and devotion. But you also taught me to recognise when I was wrong and admit to my mistakes. You have to stop blaming yourself for the past Dad"_

James went to the stove and put the kettle on. His dad was again hunched over the table looking at a knot in the woodwork. Not making eye contact.

" _In the spirit of being honest with each other, can I ask you a question?"_ Marcus asked

" _Okay"_

" _Does Kait know how your feel about her?"_

James sat down with the coffees. Silence fell over the room, each trying to find the words to say. To keep talking.

" _I think she's the one"_ he replied awkwardly , " _We've both told each other we care for each other but...her Mum and Uncle did exactly approve"_

" _Take it from your old man, don't leave it. If you love her make sure she knows. Your Uncle Dom used to tell me to shit or get off the pot, to tell your mum how I felt. If you feel the same way about each other then the complications only get in the way if you let them. Talk to her okay?!"_

The silence returned but was soon broken but Del loudly yawning as he came into the kitchen, stretching his arms dramatically. He went straight for the coffee pouring himself a large mug before joining them at the table.

" _No raised voices? No fighting?"_ he asked through another yawn, " _What's happened?"_

" _Something that should have happened a long time ago, thanks Dad"_

" _Hey Del why don't you come with me to Kaits village?"_ Marcus asked.

He looked suspiciously between father and son, " _"Errm okay"_ he replied.

James excused himself and went out to the veranda for some fresh air. It was raining heavier now. The mist thickening over the lake. He knew his Dad had invited Del to let him be alone with Kait. A chance to talk.

He sat for about ten minutes playing the conversation over in his head. The door opened and Kait joined him. She sat next to him resting her head on his shoulder. She had been crying. He put his arm around her.

" _When does your Dad leave?"_ she asked

" _About an hour. You sleep at all?"_

She shook her head. " _I don't understand why they treated her differently "_

" _Me neither but I promise we will work it out together"_

He took her into his arms and held her close. She embraced him too and rested her head on his chest listening to his heart beat. She looked into his eyes and gently kissed him. He kissed her back, his heart pounding. ' _Tell her you love her'_

The door opened and Del came out, " _Woah sorry J.D, Kait. Breakfast is up. I made eggs"_

" _Maybe if the rain stops we could have a walk down the lake later"_ he whispered, their foreheads resting on each others.

She took his hands and nodded, " _Lets eat first okay"._


End file.
